Previously we looked at the importance of humility, as I was thanking God for the opportunity of sharing what was laid on my heart it was impressed upon me to speak to women trusting God for marriage about what I will term ‘misguided humility’ and ‘misguided submission’ which may both actually be forms of desperation in disguise.

Misguided humility
Many single women fall into this trap. Perhaps they have been trusting God for some time and it looks like nothing is happening. Then finally a man approaches them, it isn’t clear whether he is a christian but he seems nice enough and you don’t want to put him off by asking him outright straight away…maybe after date number 3…phew! He says he goes to church on Sundays…he doesn’t remember anything about the sermons but you’re not looking to be a pastor’s wife – you don’t want to be stuck up, so perhaps you should just go with the flow..right??  WRONG. Please spare yourself the heartache of trying to be the exception to God’s divine order.

“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?’ 2 Corinthians 6:14 NKJV

This is not the time to compromise this is the time to be unwavering and fix your face like flint. You may encounter men that will mock you when they understand that you are not going to compromise during courtship. Beloved get to the point when you waste no time on such men – they have shown you that they do not value the word of God, is it you they will value?
Let’s be real – if you are entertaining a ‘nice’ man that does not hold fast the profession of our Christian faith – you are not being humble: it is highly likely that either you have lost passion for God as your first love and pleasing Him is no longer your priority or you have become so desperate and fearful of whether a genuine christian man that God will approve of will come that you are thinking of settling. The truth is the more you entertain unserious men the longer it will take to meet a genuine man and you risk falling into the other trap (below). Beloved please, please, please do not waste your precious time. Let your ‘plate’ be clear and clean so that God can assist your husband to locate you.

Misguided submission
The other trap single women fall for is misguided submission…they entered into a relationship and although initially there was nothing happening that shouldn’t be – in an attempt to appear submissive, amiable and agreeable the woman does not assert herself at all and does not put up any boundaries and allows the man free rein. If the man is unserious or not wise, they meet at inappropriate times in inappropriate places and before long she finds herself ‘submitting’ to the man’s requests to do inappropriate things. Beloved, if you have to worry that the man will run in the other direction if you set up boundaries to avoid sinning and defiling yourself then you already know this is not marriage material. Don’t demean or degrade yourself, don’t be desperate, don’t doubt that God will settle you as you continue doing the right thing.

Even if you are already engaged and think that you are ‘almost’ married so you can relax the boundaries, remember when it comes to marriage ‘almost’ does not count!  I have seen women get pregnant for their fiances in the run up to their wedding and the wedding never happened and they were left as single mothers – every child is a blessing but this is not God’s ideal and by His grace it shall not be your story in Jesus name.

Beloved trust God to settle your marital destiny gloriously. Refuse to yield, bow or submit to the fear of remaining single by entering into inappropriate relationships and doing inappropriate things – these are just ways the enemy uses to get women off track, wasting time and life, don’t fall for his schemes. Your life and your destiny are too important to take a chance with. Instead wait on God, He will not let you down.

SOURCEFrances Akor
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