‘But the queen Vashti refused to come at the king’s commandment by his chamberlains: therefore was the king very wroth, and his anger burned in him……….. If it please the king, let there go a royal commandment from him, and let it be written among the laws of the Persians and the Medes, that it be not altered, That Vashti come no more before king Ahasuerus; and let the king give her royal estate unto another that is better than she.’
Esther 1:12 & 19

Beloved sister whether you are waiting and trusting God to settle you maritally or already married we can all work to improve our character. Today let us look at humility as an important character trait.

Single women
Your humility will not only help in attracting an appropriate  suitor but also in conducting a successful courtship and ultimately a triumphant marriage.

Well done if you have been looking after your physical appearance but please understand this, no matter how beautiful you are pride and arrogance are major turn offs. The beautiful Vashti was exited out of her place in the palace at the frequency of her pride and replaced with Esther who was both beautiful and humble. Michal’s pride rendered her childless.

In contrast, Rebekah’s humility in providing water to a stranger and his camels made her an eligible spouse for Abraham’s promised son, Isaac.  Abigail’s humility coupled with her wisdom delivered her from dying before her time with her foolish husband Nabal. Beloved to humble yourself in life is to avoid humiliations in life.

Humility will help you go to God sincerely and  pray well when the man approaching you has not got it all together financially yet or maybe does not look exactly like the husband you pictured for yourself. Many women have fallen for looks or money and overlooked men of content still on their journey because they felt that such men were beneath them. It is only God who knows the end from the beginning, please calm down and seek God’s face to avoid delay and regret in marriage.

Married women
As a married woman humility is a vital trait, there are times when following our flesh and our emotions as a woman will take us way off course in our marital relationship. While it may feel good in the heat of the moment to release harsh words on your husband,
remember that once out they cannot be retrieved. Most men are allergic to pride and disrespect and if care is not taken your pride or lack of restraint will only escalate and worsen matters. Your husband may not be perfect but the grace of God is available for you to hold those words in and not harden your demeanour. Whilst humility and submission may look like foolishness to modern society, it is God’s way and you cannot go wrong when you are following God. Please understand that humility does not mean bottling things up and pretending nothing is wrong. Humility is the recognition that you don’t know it all and anything you have by way of beauty, intelligence etc. is from God so your boast should be in Him alone. Humility keeps you going back to God for help, wisdom (particularly in communication) and direction in your marriage and life. Please let us receive the grace to obey God in this area so that we can enjoy marital peace, unity and harmony as a result in Jesus name.

Assignment and Conclusion
Please read 1 Peter 3:1-6 whilst this addresses meekness and submission specifically, as these traits go hand in hand with humility there is much we can learn here about how to function optimally as a wife.  Being humble does not mean you are being weak or giving your husband too much power rather by being obedient to God you are handing over power to Him to intervene as you pray and seek Him on any issue or challenge regarding your marriage. Beloved, don’t be afraid, please let us humble ourselves.

Caution: this message should not be misunderstood as advocating that any woman should subject herself to abuse or danger in a courtship or marital relationship. I pray that the Holy Spirit will help your understanding and lead you into all truth in Jesus name.

SOURCEFrances Akor
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