THE CHEMISTRY OF MARRIAGE

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Now we know that because life can at times be hard and complicated, everyone desires to have someone to share their lives or dreams with. At the same time, at some point in life everyone needs someone else’s second opinion and divergent views as a benchmark to arriving at some sound decisions. That is why scripture says that iron sharpens iron. This shows how important marriage is.

However, a lot of lives have been wretched in the quest for relationships. Whether you are intending to get married or you are already married or even separated, you will bear me witness that everyone desires to have a stable, successful and lasting relationship. Unfortunately, this eludes many no matter how hard they try. The spirit of God has revealed to me that many people struggle to keep relationships for long because they or their spouses do not understand their respective assignments in a relationship. Dave Meyer, Joyce Meyer’s husband told of how immediately he met Joyce, he knew that he was to be her helper. She needed stability and someone who will help her rebuild her self – esteem and fulfil the purpose of God for her life. And up until now he continues to play a big role in her ministry though I believe that at the home front Joyce understands her role as a wife.

Chemistry of Marriage is a Holy Ghost inspired message to show you all the mix that will help you play your own part of the role in your relationship. When you meet your spouse you need to understand what your role in his or her life is. However, basically and scripturally there is a kind of hierarchy that must be respected in a marriage setting for it to work. The husband being the head of a marriage has assignments and responsibilities he owes his wife and children. In the same way the wife has her role. Where these are not recognised; neglect, dissatisfaction and conflict will abound. The marriage between Adam and Eve is a very good example of the importance of understanding assignments in marriage can be. If you adapt and apply the strategies outlined in this book in your marriage I am pretty sure your marriage will stand the test of time.

“Strong relationships are our best assets when coping with the challenges that modern life throw at us. Your strong relationship base can be a shock absorbers of life challenges and can help you navigate through such issues” – Prof Sir Cary Cooper.

However, for some, marriage is like a trap or cage, a kind of Union where you lose your personality, wealth, voice and freedom. In fact a lot of people’s destinies have come to ruin due to marriage crisis while for others marriage has proved to be a safe haven.

Marriage is a good thing and meant to be enjoyed. We have seen couples who have enjoyed their marriage and loved each for longer years than 70. At the same time we have witnessed very short lived marriages. What is the difference? I reckon there are many reasons.

Top on the list is immaturity! I mean, not in age but attitude. Marriage is a serious business and should not be entered into for the sake of it. There is a process.

For a Christian as soon as you start dreaming of getting married start praying, as soon as you find a soul mate, start praying and as soon as you say I do, do keep praying. Start your marriage on your knees and continue to sustain your marriage on your knees. Don’t wait until crisis arise before you start praying!!!

Maturity in this respect is to understand that marriage is not a fairy tale. It is full of ups and downs. There will be arguments, difference of opinions, culture or background clash, vision clash. You may encounter circumstances that may shake the fabrics of your home. Don’t be deluded with the idea that the person you have found and love is flawless and will not change. Start preparing with yourself. Begin to learn how to see things from other people’s perspective. Our Saviour, Jesus taught us to “do to others how you wish others to treat you. Make this your lifestyle and you will almost certainly be able to accommodate your (future) spouse’s weakness. As a single, understand that marriage involves give and take, sharing all you have, caring for another’s feeling, considering the effect of all your actions on your soulmate.

As girl or boy who wants to enjoy a sweet married life must work on her or his character because it is easy to get married and a big task to remain married. Most marriages break down not because of lack of love but because of bad attitude. A girl that lacks character is a girl who does not put limit to the words of her mouth. It is a girl or boy who is carefree and fails to understand that a married woman or man should not continue to hang around other men or women carelessly by disregarding how his or her spouse would perceive it or feel about it. The issue of maturity cannot be compressed into few headings but for sure, it is of paramount importance that there is the need to learn how to handle pressure before you contemplate marriage. Signs of maturity also can reflect in your ability to engage in constructive discussions and arguments and ability to resolve simple matters. There is also need to come to a place where you are correctable, transparent and accountable (relating to your whereabouts, spending and able to give and accept reasons for your actions and that of your spouse where appropriate).

A lot of young ladies particularly make themselves so sour, no smiles, look so grumpy. I remember when I was trusting God for marriage. I was praying, living a holy life but I was miserable because I thought that being single was a curse. I lost my zest, I lost my smile in the name of holiness as if frowning is holiness, I became so unattractive, so unfriendly, unapproachable and hiding under a shadow. I also began to blame family members in that the enemy would show me their faces in my dreams. But all were false.

So I approached a Pastor for deliverance. Glory be to God the Pastor was so real with me. Hear what he told me!

“You don’t need delivery Sister Chika but you need to learn how smile again, learn how to be a lady again, amiable and friendlier!”. Boom 💥
To worsen matters some young women just reject brothers even without praying about them because they think another one is coming. Remember every girl is like flower. You are sweetest when you are at certain age especially mid – twenties.

Every marriage has both strengths and opportunities for growth. One of the greatest foundations to build your marriage is on the fear of God – making God your chief cornerstone so that when you experience issues you run to Him for answers. So my biggest advise is: start loving God. Let God be your first husband or wife. Love God in such a way that it becomes your nature to love. As you love God and make Him your first love, you will learn how to love the unlovable and God will prepare the special person who will be able to receive your type of love. Do not just sit around as a liability or see your single hood as a place of bondage and prison looking and waiting for someone to rescue you.

Again don’t go into marriage believing that divorce is an option. Marriage as a Christian is for long hull. Begin to learn how to forgive and let go so that it is not a struggle when you finally get married. Someone said that the best marriage is one between two good forgiving people. Marriage is about maintaining lifelong commitment. RESPECT IS BIG ISSUE IN MARRIAGE!
It is very important that you learn how to respect other people’s feelings, opinion and space as it will come handy when you find your spouse.

For more get a copy of The Chemistry of Marriage from amazon.

You will make it in Jesus name.

SOURCEChika Amadi
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2 COMMENTS

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